Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birth. Show all posts

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Letter-Naming Thing Explained


The letter naming thing grew on me. I refused to do it at first, since my mother-in-law did it with the "S". My husband is Scott. he is the youngest of 4. First was Sandra, then Susan, followed by Sallyann and eventually, Scott. He was born on Father's day, the only son. His family were practicing Jehovah's Witnesses and did not celebrate this holiday, yet I still find it comical. He’s the youngest of 4, the only boy, born on Father's Day. of all days? Our son, Avery, was born very close to Father's day. Our letter naming situation came about unintentionally. Amber was the name we'd decided on for our first. With our second, I was 32 weeks along when my sister in law, Susan, passed. She was Susan Elizabeth. I wanted to name our baby (then gender unknown) after her if it was a girl, but I did not like the name Susan or Elizabeth, so we had decided on Victoria Elizabeth. I found out Alex's gender when I was already 6 days overdue. I only knew for 5 days, but it made all the difference in the world to me. We'd then decided on Alexander Scott (for his father.) Amber has my middle name as her middle name. Alex has his father's first name as his middle name.

When I became pregnant with our 3rd, I figured, "Eh, what the heck, let's do another 'A' name." I just didn't like any at the time and couldn't pick a winning first-middle combination. Then one day, it just hit me.... Ashton Thomas! So there he was, our third child, second son. We were sure we were done having children and I settled for longer term birth control that lasted 5 years. When it was time for replacement, we'd talked long and hard about it and we agreed that removal was preferable over replacement. Then came Autumn! It took more than 1 year of "trying" for our sweet little princess, but the effort paid off, big time. Autumn was born the day after her big sister, Amber. Our girls are 13 years and 1 day apart. Their due dates were just 1 day apart. (I carry babies for 42 weeks!) We knew for sure we wanted another and it didn't happen right away, but once we started trying, we got bored and frustrated because it wasn't happening. We gave up. Then, I became pregnant in December 2009, just before Christmas, but did not know until January 4th (just 3 days after my father in law passed). The pregnancy ended on 2/1/10 after two weeks of bleeding.

Just the day before our 15th wedding anniversary, on May 19th, 2010, I got another positive pregnancy test. I thought this was it, we were going to have our 5th baby, but alas, the pregnancy ended on 6/1/10. Skip forward another few months and on 9/11/10, 9 years after the terrorist attacks, I get yet another positive test. I don't think it will work out, but I do remain pregnant and get past 10/1/10. (around the same gestation yet another 4 months later.) I have an early ultrasound on 10/21/10 that shows us a strong heartbeat at just 9 weeks gestation. Success! A viable pregnancy. Somehow, that did not make me feel better. I was very cautious and we had a lot of family stress with our 2 oldest children while I was pregnant with Avery. This stress included, but is/was not limited to both of my older children being held at the local mental health facility under Baker Act.

Sorry for the book. It’s just that we've been through so much, yet here we are, still kicking. You can't keep us down! We're strong, we will survive.

I miss that boy more than I have ever missed anyone or anything in my life. Avery Jackson Friend, you are one loved boy.




Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Meaningful gifts

Hey, if you know anyone looking for a meaningful gift...

My Etsy shop

I'm just starting out and when I have time to post more items, I will. :-)
Thanks for looking!

Updates and such.

First and foremost, forgive me. I have been a bad, bad blogger. I know there has not been a post from me in over 2 and a half years. That's a long time!

Update: A lot has happened in the last 2 1/2 years. A. LOT. My father-in-law passed away on January 1st, 2010. Three days later, I found out I was pregnant. Just 4 days after that, I started bleeding. I had what's referred to as a missed miscarriage. I spotted for well over 2 weeks before passing the "products of conception", as the hospital staff and doctor's office referred to my lost baby as. Fast forward just a few months later and I again am pregnant. I get my first positive test the day before our 15th wedding anniversary. (What a great gift!) This was the same day we were packing up to head south for our annual beach vacation (the very same one we skipped in 2009 because of money issues). The vaca went off without so much as a hiccup. We get home, 2 days later... you guessed it! I have now had 2 back-to-back miscarriages, exactly 4 months apart! (2/1/10 and 6/1/10) A few more months pass and I find myself pregnant again! Yes, again! Again, I was around the same gestation exactly 4 months later (10/1/10). This time, I did not miscarry. An ultrasound was done on 10/21/10 (exactly 9 wks gestation) and we found a tiny wiggly belly bean with a perfect little heartbeat! How exciting! On Jan. 21st, 2011, I had a 2nd trimester ultrasound and found out we were having a boy. Yay! His name was to be Avery Jackson Friend. A home birth was planned and the details are mostly long and boring. (2 prior c-sections and a history of being way overdue) I went into labor, on my own (for the very first time) the day before I was 42 weeks. June 8th, 2011. I labored long and hard for over 24 hours and was not progressing. Long story short... one cord prolapse, one ambulance ride and one truly emergent (2 minute) c-section later (for which I was knocked out), our baby was stillborn. A cord prolapse ended my son's life before he was born. He was gone before I went under. The doctor kept telling me that if we'd been there just a few minutes sooner... too little and far too late. It's not his fault. I know that. I thank him for having been able to so quickly get my baby out and try to save his life.

You know, they say everything happens for a reason. I used to wholeheartedly believe that. Now? Not so much. It's really difficult to find a reason for your child's death. I'm not the same person I was before. If I seem bitchier than usual, this is why. There's no excuse for being an ass, I know this. However, you walk a mile in my shoes... then judge me.

I love you so much, Avery! Mommy and Daddy miss you so much.




Avery Jackson Friend
Born sleeping June 9th, 2011 @ 10:07pm
Weight: 9lb, 1oz