Accountability. Learn it. Live it.

I'm fat. Short and fat. I hate it. Do I do something about it? Of course not. It's far easier to sit on my (fat) ass and complain about it. This is the reason for this post.

Since the loss of my son, I have gone back and forth many times about whether or not I want to try again. The trouble with choosing to have another child... regular cycles, or at least ovulatory ones, are pretty much a requirement for conception. I started menstruating 17 weeks and 6 days after Avery's birth. I have just started my third cycle. The first was 34 days and the second was 36 days. The frustration of irregularity is enough to drive me insane!

Babies and conception aside, I truly feel like my being overweight is playing a huge role in the hormonal suck-fest I'm currently enduring. As Dr. Oz tells us, fat creates it's own estrogen. Do what? Yep. With estrogen levels remaining high, progesterone levels staying low, prolactin levels probably a little higher than they should/could be (I'm still nursing our 3 yr old, that's a whole different post.) it stands to reason that my reproductive health is suffering as much as my respiratory and circulatory health is. Being fat is unhealthy. Period.

So why this post? I'll tell you. Simply put, accountability. Whether people are reading or not, this is the internet. The internet is forever. Once I put this out there, I am being held accountable. Accountable for my words and for my actions. If I tell you that I am going to do my very best to lose a good amount of weight to regain my health and my life, damn it, I will. Once I tell the internet I'm going to do this, I will hold myself accountable and strive to do the very best I can to make good on my promise. For myself, for you, the reader and for the depths of the internet realm. I will be a thinner, lighter, healthier person!

The down low: I went to the doctor's office Monday to discuss "cycle control" with him. He tells me that I should lose weight. (I know this, my pants remind me daily.) He also tells me that getting certain meds will do nothing but mess me up more. I get that. The one med that will regulate everything, I cannot take because I refuse to force my daughter to give up something she's had every day since birth. (For more information on child-led weaning and the benefits of nursing a toddler: LaLeche League International, Nursing a toddler, and Child-led Weaning.)

So what's my plan? Baby steps. I'm going to make small changes on a regular basis. Taking short periods of time and making better food choices. I'm going to make every effort to get moving more.

Start weight: Monday, December 12th, 2011 - 181.6lb (according to Dr's office scale)

OUCH!! I'm ONLY 5'1" high, how the hell can I be that heavy? This is, by far, my heaviest non-pregnant weight. I have just barely exceeded this weight, by a few pounds, just prior to the births of babies #4 and #5.


This week's changes:

• Drink less beer. (Duh! Sure, it feels good and eases some of my emotional pain, but at 95-130 calories per 12 ounces?)
• Cut out late night snacking! It's bad news, Peeps, bad news.
  
• Smarter snacking! Instead of several fun size Hershey bars, what about a half cup of cottage cheese or an ounce of whole, natural almonds. Both very yummy choices.
• Instead of caffeine filled drinks between meals, some fruit juice. 100% juice, no sugar or artificial sweeteners.
• Cut the carbs! Seriously, who needs to be eating that much bread, pasta and potatoes?! (Potatoes are my weakness!)

• Replacing white potatoes with a much healthier orange (sweet) potato. I love those!

That's the plan, anyway. I hereby hold myself accountable!

If you have any helpful advice, hints or tips, you are more than welcome to share. :-)